man and woman holding hands

  1. Say positive things about her in private as well as public.

Observe her! Look for opportunities to give her sincere compliments.  Let her know you like how she looks, or what she wears, or things she does, or what she cooks.  When appropriate, tell others in a public setting how much you appreciate her and let her hear the kind words you say about her.

  1. Display photos of her.

Carry a photo of her in your wallet.  If possible, display a photo of her at your work place and have one visible on your desk at home where you can easily see it when you’re on the computer.  Use a nice photo of her as your desktop wallpaper. She’ll feel honored and cherished.

  1. Take her out to eat.

Make sure you know which meal is her preferred meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and treat her at her favorite places.  Don’t just go on her birthday or anniversary, or at holiday time. Let her know you want to take her out as a treat.  And when you take her out, TALK, carry on a conversation.  Don’t just sit there and eat.  And NEVER sit and look at your phone.

  1. Take time to know her interests and participate in them with her.

If she enjoys going on a walk, go with her as often as you can.  If she likes romance movies, enjoy them with her.   If she likes playing cards, take the time to enjoy playing cards with her.  You don’t have to participate all the time, but enough to show her that you genuinely enjoy being involved in her life. What’s really important is that your world isn’t centered primarily on YOUR interests.  One way to check this out is to list the top five things the two of you enjoy doing together and then determine if these are primarily YOUR interests.  How many of them are based on HER interests?

  1. Surprise her with little gifts on a regular basis.

Take the time to know the little things that make her feel special and then, as much as possible, give them to her as surprise gifts. Learn which things have sentimental value to her.  Maybe it’s a rose bud.  Maybe it’s dusting FOR her or WITH her.  Maybe it’s doing the laundry or emptying the dish washer.  Maybe it’s giving her a book by her favorite author. Maybe it’s simply going to the store and buying a card that says you’re thinking of her or, even better, giving her a homemade card.  Maybe it’s putting a thoughtful note in her purse or lunch container and surprising her.  But remember, the best gift you can give her is yourself.  Be there for her.

  1. Talk to her, share your thoughts and feelings.

Tell her about your day and then ask her about hers and LISTEN when she talks.  Make her feel important by looking at her when she talks.  Don’t be distracted. It will make her feel so good to know you thoroughly enjoy her company and want to have a conversation with her.

  1. Spend time with her friends and family.

Be aware of who’s important to her and find ways for her to share time with them.  Let her know you are willing to be there with her to share time with them as well.  Don’t be critical of the family and friends that mean a lot to her.

  1. Accept her for who she is.

Make sure she feels that you accept her for who she is, not who you want her to be.  Don’t make her feel that she has to meet certain standards or expectations in order to gain your acceptance.  Focus your attention on accepting her, not trying to change her.  She’ll appreciate it.

  1. Say “I love you” often.

Doing things for her will make her feel special, but nothing is more important than sincerely saying to her, “I love you.”  There are those who think you don’t have to say the words, that actions are what’s important. But the key is what’s important to HER.  Ask her if she likes to hear you say, “I love you.”  If she does, be willing to say it.  It’s reassuring to her.

  1. Encourage her spirituality.

Encourage her in her search for spiritual meaning. Spirituality is a personal thing so give her freedom to explore.  Support her beliefs even if they’re different from yours. If she chooses to express faith in God, don’t discourage her efforts.  To the contrary,  buy her inspirational books and gifts that give her a spiritual lift.  Her spirituality is part of who she is so don’t do anything to discourage or squelch it.







I live simple. I laugh. I love. I write. Since retiring, I enjoy writing every day for the sheer pleasure of it -- no hassle, no stress, no pressure. Just pure joy. And I enjoy exploring different genres, attempting to discover where I feel most comfortable. I thoroughly enjoy meeting the interesting people that show up in my stories, delving a bit into their personal lives, and observing how they deal with life. I'm often amazed at what they say and do. I also enjoy the challenge of non-fiction and the amazing things I learn while researching and writing. And for a change of pace, I express myself in oil painting, thoroughly convinced that every painting is not just oil on canvas, rather it tells a story. My family and my faith mean a lot to me. I enjoy being a husband, father, and grandfather. I live simple. I laugh. I love. I write.

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